Sanity Test for Picnic Party

See my notes in the gameplay section, but the rules part of this rulebook is quite scattered about. With some reorganization, and putting relevant information together, these rules will be great.

Not listed

Short, sweet, and to the point. Sets up the light-hearted theme quite nicely.

This could actually be cut a little shorter. All I need to know is that I want to have the most cards when the deck runs out.

No list. You mention the dice, and the setup starts with cards, but you should have a clear list of all the components included in the game. If the game comes with colored stickers and blank dice, put it that way in the components.

Also, assembling the dice could be combined under the "First Time Playing" heading.

Same notes as above. Include the image of the dice, both blank AND stickered if there's room, and show me the backs of the cards.

I like how you emphasized the term "Animal Lane," so that your players know that's going to come up again. Nothing more is needed here.

Great picture. Shows exactly what I need to know.

This is pretty good, and explains the game pretty well, but better organization will improve readability, and how easy it is to understand.

First of all, don't explain the tiebreaker before you explain how to play. That should be in the endgame or scoring section.

Next, make sure that you keep all relevant information together. The info about the Rockstar Roll should be right after you explain the yummy and yucky rolls. It belongs in step 3 before you end your turn. In fact, that's the first thing that you're checking for, so you might consider moving it to the front of Step 3. Then you can say, "If it's NOT a rockstar roll, check to see if it's yummy or yucky..." then explain those.

Abilities should also be in step 3, as that also happens before you end your turn. Are abilities used once per game or once per turn?

After all that, then explain Step 4, and be specific about when this happens. You could reiterate that your turn is over after you have collected an animal (or two with a rockstar roll) or had a yucky roll.

This is where endgame and scoring should be. Put that before you put the advanced game or any variants. This is the game that families will start with, so make sure it's complete without having to jump around all this other stuff.

After the endgame information, then add the advanced version and the variants, only noting what is different or added from the standard version. What you have is good.

I know solo games are almost necessary in adult games nowadays, but in family games, it's much rarer. If you need to save room in the rules, you don't really need it. The 5-year-old is not going to play it alone, and the adults who like solo play have plenty of choices from the "regular" game shelf. Better yet, rename is as the "co-op mode," or a beginner mode for the youngest kiddos. Co-ops are great for young kids who have trouble losing! This mode should also have it's own scoring table.

It's not totally necessary as it's pretty straightforward, but visual examples of the different types of roll would be nice.

When I finally found the "Winning the game" section, it led me to a different spot in the rules, and that page number wasn't even correct. Don't make your players flip back and forth to find the info that goes together. Put all the "Winning the Game" information right under that heading. This is also where the tiebreaker should be.

Yes, I would play correctly. Just a small question about the abilities, but I think I know what the answer is.

Most of my comments are on the organization of the rules, but the rules themselves are very good.

No complaints here.

Can't go wrong with basic black type on white background. I like that some words were color-coded. I would love to see more of the adorable art peppered through the rules, but that's not actually necessary. :)

The small image seems a little blurry. I don't know if that can be sharpened, but a little tweaking could go a long want.

For the "Why Buy This" section, leave off the word "Surprisingly." Your first point is great, but the other two are a bit generic, and could be said about hundreds of games. Try to be more specific to this game.

Really conveys the light-heartedness and the animals are adorable. I might like to see the picnic table and racoon a little bigger. The tree is kind of stealing focus because it's not only big, but also more centered.

Nice and clear, with a thin outline that really helps readability. You don't need both though, so if you wanted, you could take the one off the background image to give your graphics more room.

LOVE all the shots of kids and families playing together. It really shows the diversity in ages, and the engagement.

However, I would like to see more of the components as well. You obviously have great art, so this is your space to show it off. Show some cards up close. Give a photo of what the starting setup looks like. Show more of the table with an in-progress game. You could maybe cut back on a few of the people images, but not too many! Also, I don't know which kids are yours, but if any are not, please make sure that you have the permission of the grown-ups that their children's photos are being used online.

Your tagline is decent, but doesn't quite make sense to befriend your buddies IN a contest. Maybe try "and" there. Or maybe you're "tempting" your buddies? This sentence actually makes more sense in context in the description, and without the contest part in the same sentence.

I would like a little more about how the game is played. Not a full rules breakdown, but is it drafting, matching, press-your-luck? How do the dice and cards work together? Tell me more about what makes your gameplay unique and worthy buying.

The quality is a little low and difficult to watch in a few parts. The use of background removal, cut in with the palm trees is a bit jarring, and it's obvious that you're reading a script. The whispering is really weird and a little creepy.

The whole video is a little long for an ad. Try to keep it under a minute to keep your customer's attention. In that regard, I recommend getting into the content quicker. I have to watch 20 seconds before you say anything about the actual game.

The photos don't need to be repeated at the end, as it just adds time for no added value.

The part at the end with Zelda told me more about how to play the game than the rest of the video. Tell me about rolling dice and matching them to the cards. Also tell me the valuable skills I'll be teaching my 2-year-old. Those are the things that make this game unique and interesting to parents, which I assume is your target demographic.

I wouldn't bother trying to appeal to gamers, honestly. "Serious gamers" as you say, will not particularly be interested in cutesy animals and matching colors. Instead, market this as a game that grows with your family, starting as color-matching for the younger ones, and moving on to variable abilities and more strategic choices for the slightly older kids.

All that being said, this is not the spot for an almost 40-minutes video. This page is better as an advertisement and a shop than a how-to spot. Add your game to the boardgamegeek.com database, and put info on how to play it there. This video would be perfect for that platform, or put it on your publisher website. It's too long and involved here.

I would also recommend scripting this more, and instead of showing a whole game, and just waiting until the thing that you want to talk about happens naturally, teach the game by demo. Stack the deck and simulate the rolls to get to talk about what's important. Check out Rodney Smith's videos for the pinnacle example of a how-to-play video.

The word from the designer video is unnecessary. Put what you said in the text, and that would be better, especially because you already have two other videos on this page.